Wear a mask while you sleep if you piss me off

My beau and I were just talking about the upcoming weekend and he mentioned going tubing down a river on Sunday while I'll be at work.
Me: "You're going tubing? Without me?
Him: "Yep."
Me: "UGH! I'm gonna...poop on your ass crack!"
Him: "I guess you could do worse."
Me: "And your eyes."
Him: "Yeah, that'll do it. Good job."